Not Just Blonde Jokes Now. Old Jokes, Too.

In case you missed Gradly’s funny list, I thought I’d post it here too. I was over at a girl-friend’s house yesterday, another member of the Class of ‘78, and another blonde.  We get the double whammy now, blonde AND old. We kept forgetting what we were talking about, except when the subject was health. Heh-heh, stuff like thyroid problems, chin-hair removal, reading glasses, stiff shoulders, bad knees and the merits of HRT (hormone replacement therapy).

So before you snicker and say “It’ll never happen to me”, remember I was 25 once too.  Now go have mercy on yer mama.

PERKS OF BEING OVER 50

1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

3. No one expects you to run–anywhere.

4. People call at 9pm and ask, ” Did I wake you ????”

5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

7. Things you buy now won’t wear out.

8. You can eat dinner at 4pm.

9. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.

10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.

13. You sing along with elevator music.

14. Your eyes won’t get much worse.

15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.

17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them either.

18. You can’t remember where you read this list.

• And you notice these are all in bold for your convenience.
• Send this to every one you can remember