It’s Getting Dangerous for Me to Blog

Hypo-hell has become hypo-hilarious. Um, like being a little buzzed, it has removed some of my natural and God-given tendencies towards self-protection and self-censorship.

Yea, I almost posted about two REALLY controversial things. I copied the link before even thinking. Then brain kicked in, God breathed said NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Oh.My.Gosh.Whew. Almost blew up a peaceful blogosphere. Almost an Embassy-involved International Incident. My hand is so wobbly, I can’t even draw a straight line with a mouse. :O

Here’s my news, switcheroo, from Sis’ email into blog post, rather than making her read blog for my news (Yea, yea, it is tacky, I’m sorry, lazy butt I am, no “cancer card” play with sisters. Oh no, I said ‘butt’ on my blog. New depths of depravity, twice in two days)

Here it is Teh Uncensored Kinzi (or whatever my name is):

Ah shucks, sweet Sis,

I am sorry. Jane says the same thing: “email me, THEN blog”. (Jane makes it RED, like teh words of Jesus, so I don’t miss it)

The Big Dif between email and blog: I don’t bother with grammar or spell check with Sis. Very freeing.

I love you.

Love your advice: #1 Don’t fall down. That makes me fall down laughing. Remember that TV commerncial “Weebles wobble but they don’t fall down?”. I am now a weeble. It’s a weeble-ey day today.

Heh-heh, you are getting the DITZY, LOOPY, email. Maybe I’ll even turn it into a blog post, but you get it first.

I am eating cheesecake for breakfast. Yymmmm. Who cares how much laxative I will have to drink to get it through my system.

I am spending a lot of time in my warm bed with a hot water bottle reading about Suffering and the Sovereignty of God. I can’t read the footnotes; you said it JUST WAIT, hypo-hell exacerbates the need for bifocals.

I am amazed at God. Yesterday, Hubby kept Lil Kinz home from school. She really wasn’t that sick, but she bamboozled him. I was NOT HAPPY. Sadly, our DVD player is on the fritz and the Xbox, which we can use for movies, wouldn’t open! I was going “How am I going to survive with Chatty Cathy/Constant Project girl home all day with NO screen distractions?” I could let her play computer games (Polly Pocket and WebKinz) but then I have to stay with her in the office (instead of warm bed), and reply to non-stop banter and commands to “Come see!”

Amazingly, I wasn’t the least bit dizzy or weak in the legs, the best I have felt in four days! Then, hubby called with great news, a friend was going to come over and play with Lil Kinz all day! He got all his gold stars back to be creative enough to pull that one off.

I am reading a great book about the sovereignty of God and suffering (HA! Already said that!) I totally recommend another one, less theological, (that some good religious folk are calling heresy, but hey ITS FICTION) called “The Shack” by William Young. I cried all the way through both times I read it (altho one was just after cancer diagnosis, the last last week when my eyes leak all the tiem anyway)

How is Fuzz’s leg? Did the break heal?

How is your back?

With back better, I hope life is easier.

How are sheepies, doggies, mule-ies?

Remember that fire in Yorba Linda? It was only blocks from that place we stayed with the homeschoolers. The big homes just up the hill were toast.

My poor sister, it was all about me.

Even in this new mode of hypo-hilarity, a couple of God-sightings:

* I always shop for baby gifts when in the US, I look for the good brands at 75% off, it’s like a sport, female hunter-gatherer thing. This year, EVERYTHING was pink. Bad news, as 75% of foreign babies born in Jordan among my circle are of the BLUE persuasion. Three friends had baby girls recently. BINGO!!!

* Hubby got a call from one of our church elders. He said “I just wanted to tell you how much you and Kinzi have encouraged the church with your response to her cancer. Even the response of your kids is amazing. It is even affecting the youth group, giving them renewed faith. They are talking about it in their small groups, how would they handle it”.

* I have this new neighbor, a British woman, who has really only known me as a cancer patient, not as a very involved or ‘mutual’ bud. She brought a card with a poem she wrote yesterday, it touched me SO much:

“My beloved, rest in Me.

For when you are tired, I AM with you

When you feel alone, I AM with you

When you long for touch and closeness, I AM with you

When your heart is strained and when it rejoices, though your body be weak, I AM with you

Rest in Me

Be still in Me

And know that I, your God, AM with you

She had NO idea I just finished studied the I AMs. How much I struggle being so alone, unable to talk, relationally disabled. Far from my friends.

Thank You, Lord, for being there, in silliness and in heaviness, through tears and giggles, through sure-footed days between weaving ones. Hold me close, I’m hanging on.