Beware the Red Hot Water Bottles…

…for sale at local intersections in Amman. Blue ones, too.

We’ve been in the market for more hot water bottles. They are great to  pre-warm the kid’s beds on chilly winter nights. We only have two, so the littler two get them first, then when they are asleep, I reheat the water and pass on to the older two. In recent days, hubby then grabs them and rewarms them for the foot of our bed! So it really would help to have a couple more, but hubby hasn’t seen them when he has looked.

Yesterday at a stop light, I asked one of the street sales guys how much were the hot water bottles he was selling. 3JD, he said, asking me how many I wanted.I told him I had no change, and would come back tomorrow the same time and began to drive off. To my surprise, he threw the hot water bottle in my window and said “You can pay me tomorrow, I am Marwan!” . Well, that is a new sales tactic to me, does it work with Jordanians? An appeal to honor to come back tomorrow? The kounouz were like: “Wow Mom, you must really look trust-worthy or something.”. Pft.

On a hunch, I sent Spikekid to the neighborhood pharmacy to ask how much they sell them for. He reported the exact same hot water bottle was sold for 2.20JD. Oh well, I thought, better to help out a wheeler-dealer entrepreneur for one, but the other I’ll go cheap local for. Hubby was surprised, saying: “Where did you find that? I’ve been looking all over for more hot water bottles.” I told him the story, including the fact that the nearby pharmacy carries them. “Well I never saw them there” he said. I inquired: “Did you every ASK them if they carried them?”  No. It must be like asking for directions or something (except my husband does ask for directions in this season of life).

So it’s bed time, and Project Boy wins the draw to sleep with the NEW hot water bottle. He picked it up to open the topper, and the handle snapped off between his fingers. SHU? He is only nine, not Mr. Strong, so I took it and tried to open it with what was left of the plastic handle. With VERY little pressure I turned it and SNAP, off goes the base of the handle! Well, what a well-made, quality item I purchased.

What a dilemma. The thing broke before it’s first use, and it wasn’t even paid for yet! What to do? It wasn’t the seller’s fault he was given junk to pass off to unwary buyers, it was his supplier who was the crook. I decided I would pay him 2JD, since he he would probably still make a profit at that price, and return the water bottle so he can show his supplier what junk he is provided.

I had just gotten back from having the Big Talk with my doctor, and really wasn’t feeling like another confrontation. I considered not going back, but you know, it wasn’t a very Christian thing to do. Plus the traffic on other routes was awful. Then I just kind-of hoped he wouldn’t be there.

No such luck. Marwan is a big dude, another reason not to cross him. Fortunately the light had just turned red, so I honked and he came running with a dozen red hot water bottles flapping over his arm:

Marwan: “Hella ya sitti, kam biddik?”

Kinzi: “Marhaba ya Marwan, biddish iyaahum. Shiyyaf shu sar?” I showed him the broken bits.

M: “Esh sawwayti, ya sitti? Kunti ‘awwi ma3o? Keef kasartii? Mish laazim sta3mili kull quwatik 3ala ya sitti”. His voice rose with each word. He was trying to show me how easy it was to open, and he couldn’t even get his huge fingers around the cap.

K: “Ya Marwan, shu raiyak, bitfakker inno ana wahdeh ‘awwi? Kassart min ibni 3umro tis3a siniin awalaan, badayn minni. Hada annineh IZBAAAAAAAAAAAAAALEH. Ma biddi. BAS, biddi adfa3ak dinaarayn oo arja3a il annineh, fa raeesak ra7 yashuuf shu nowa izbaaleh huwwa a3takiyya. 3ala ra’so huwwa, mish enta”. My voice rose with each word. Not angry, just the way it works here. Someone doesn’t agree, you just say it louder until they do.

M: “Tayyeb, sa7hi hada mish qwayyez. La tidfa3, ya sitti, haram” Crestfallen, all his ‘tough-guy’ gone.

K: “La, haram 3alay iza ma badfa3. Laazim. Bas please, e7ki ma3 il mas3uul, e7keelo ana zalaani minno inno huwwa 3atakum shu mish qwayyez, OK?”

M: “Tab, bas enti towkhudi il annineh”. He took the money, gave me back the bottle and ran to the next unsuspecting customer.

Spikekid was dying a thousand deaths, I had mortified him in public again. He pointed over to the cars to the lef t of us, all occupants laughing, having thoroughly enjoyed the show. I showed them the bottle and said “IZBAALEH” as we all drove off.

So, if you are buying hot water bottles, go a step up from the 2.2JD model, and avoid the street vendors. But say hey to Marwan for me.

Translation (I think this is what I said. Arabists, correct me):

M: “Hey there lady, how many would you like today?”

K: “Hello Marwan. I don’t want any at all. Look what happened.”

M: “Lady, what did you do to this thing? How much force did you use? You don’t, like, have to use full strength to open the thing, ya know?”

K: “Now Marwan, please, do I look like someone who is really strong? It first broke when my nine year old son tried, then again when I did. Look, the thing is TRASH. I don’t want it. but hey, I’ll pay you two dinaar and give the thing back to you so you can show your supplier what trash he is giving you to sell. It’s not your responsibility, it’s his.”

M: “Alright, you are right, this thing is no good. But don’t pay me, really”

K: “No way, it would be terrible if I didn’t pay you. But please, tell your boss I am mad he gave you guys no good stuff to sell, ok?”

M: “Alright, but you keep the hot water bottle”.