Home Invasion By Twenty Teens

All the parenting books say: “make your home a hang-out for your teen and his friends”. I thought that is a very nice concept, but if just one drives me crazy, what would happen if the whole youth group comes over? Our youth group probably has seventy kids. Even though we can only seat thirty or so, I discovered they don’t sit for long and find interesting ways to use furniture for ‘chairs’.

Usually a group of kids will go out to Kalha or something after church. Last night, it seems most of the kids are broke, as my son called and said: “Mom, can I bring the kids home to watch a movie?” OH MY, it was happening. I panicked a bit and said “Sure, pick up something on the way here for them to drink and we will make a ton of popcorn”  – I was wishing I could serve raisin bran, since we have so much, but that might mortify the boy, mish?

This was our second time to have the group over. The first was a few weeks ago, when another family mom said: “We found a great deal at Jerusalem Market on frozen left-over Hardees shaved beef and peppers, and delicious ice-cream for Fanta Floats. We wanted to have a dinner for the kids after church, but discovered some water damage in a wall and our living room is on a shambles.” I said: “Let’s have it at our home!” So the plan was made.

We cleaned house like crazy, and oldest son was mortifying his siblings with the standards he was expecting. My friends brought the food over in a crock-pot. It was very convenient, they got a super deal on a delicious meal (only with a great deal can one feed dozens of bottomless stomachs) and we rounded it out with bread, veggie sticks and another family brought watermelon. Fanta Floats were waaaaaaay zaki.

It went really well, the dog was in 7th heaven with so many people to love on her, nothing broke (well, except for a light fixture, victim to a stray light saber manevere). The kids ate and played games, and three sets of parents stayed too. Fifty folks altogether. I was feeling Very Jordanian, very happy to have my international spiritual ‘family’ fed, happy and having fun. Spikekid/Manchild was not mortified once, so it was a true success.

So last night, we had about ten minutes notice to get everything ready (plus, we have a houseguest, more on that later).

Then it hit me: they want to watch a movie. Oh. No. This means everyone will discover how very strict we are about what the kids see. Guaranteed mortification. The older boys were going through some of our R rated ones, which even Oldest Son hasn’t seen yet and that we use the Fast Forward option on liberally even for us. We have been sitting with him and rewatching films like Bourne Identity (which he says EVERYONE has seen but him), to talk about it, themes, world-view, values and redeemable lessons in spite of language. In our circle, we just don’t use profanity. Poor kid, when he goes to America it’s gonna be a different world.

I held up one and  said “Whose parents will object to this one?” Some kids started calling home, which will prompt a google search of movie reviews and a yes or no answer (which is what happens when my son calls me from another home). Three kids said “No, we’ll just play cards in the entry”, before calling. I knew I had to say no, and one of the Bigger, Cooler Dudes said “Hey, my mom won’t let me watch anything than animated movies anyway (wink-wink at the mom)”. Another BCD said: “Yea, I really want to see Monsters, Inc. again”.

Bigger Cooler Dudes saved me and my son. No one messes when they speak.

We survived, everyone had fun, nothing much broke, and we may just do it again before the Seventy Return For School. Love this teen learning curve.