I have been leery for some time about the purported 50% rate of divorce among my faith-compatriots, the oft-maligned Evangelical wing of Christianity.It made me feel sad and ashamed that we were no different than the rest of America, and had utterly failed at practicing what we preach. But, the numbers just didn’t match up with friends we have kept in touch with. Out of our circles of friends and acquaintances, from California, Louisiana and Illinois, literally 1,000 people, there haven’t been more than ten divorces since we lived there, 20-25 years ago.
It was the divorce of friends we used to be in a small group with that prompted me to ask some questions of churches I have been a member of. As The Hub and I counted, of the thirty or so couples in our young marrieds group, there have been three divorces in nearly twenty years. Not good, but certainly not 50%. I wrote our former pastor and asked him to look at the numbers for the whole church and this is what he came up with: out of 879 heads of households, 20 had been or were divorced or separated. Not per year, but ever.
2.2%
This is a fairly conservative church in suburban Chicago, with both traditional and progressive forms of worship, very strong Bible teaching from a solid pastor. They will not marry people without comprehensive pre-marital counseling and intentionally get involved with couples who have problems with the goal of reconciliation. (Some of you are wondering if they would send a battered wife back into a situation of repeated domestic violence, the answer is NO)
I am sure the numbers in my former church in California would be higher (it’s just a wilder kind of place), but probably not more than 10%. I am going to write and ask them.
I would encourage those of you folks like us to ask your former churches about their stats. I think you will be surprised. We Evangelicals may need a lot of improvement in many areas, but serial divorce isn’t one of them.
For more information see:
http://www.cadz.net/mdr.html
http://www.marriagedivorce.com/mdreform2.htm
http://www.saveus.org/docs/factsheets/stateofmaritalunion2005.pdf
Divorce is so ‘accepted’ now within the established church. Lots of folks who say, ‘ Lord, Lord’ but who have no relationship with Christ and the Father. Satan is the destroyer and his easiest prey is the so-called Christian who does not have God as his ‘rock, shield, fortress, and strength.’ Spiritual warfare is raging and satan is no respector of persons. Many so-called ‘Christians’ are armed only with man’s Christian traditions rather than with God.
Eph 6:12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places
Isa 17:48 And all this assembly shall know that the LORD saveth not with sword and spear: for the battle is the Lord’s, and he will give you into our hands.
Not many Christians actually believe ‘the battle is the Lord’s.’ David walked out and stood before Goliath with only his shepherd’s sling. He stood…waiting on God. God told him to pick up 5 stones. Now, today, we Christians would panick saying, ‘Wait a minute..God..why do I need FIVE stones? What’s Goliath gonna do while I’m missing with the first four.’ But David ‘KNEW’ God. David ‘trusted’ God. David ‘knew’ God would deliver Israel. And…well…you get it.
So many church members/christians today…are defenseless…vulnerable…being ‘sifted as wheat’ and ‘devoured’ by the destructive enemy of God. Satan’s focus is the soul of man…God’s most precious possession.
I am internetelias.wordpress.com
Even when they cite these sorts of statistics, publications typically admit that they’re open to question. However, people tend to forget those disclaimers and simply cite the statistic later. Thanks for calling attention to this.
However in a larger sense, Elias is right; the numbers aren’t as relevant as the fact that so many churches don’t take the Bible’s teaching on divorce seriously, and allow it for the most trivial reasons and then allow people to re-marry and remain church members in good standing. This is something the culture doesn’t judge us for, but I think it’s a bigger problem than the actual percentage, my view.
I like your blog.
Rose, thanks for visiting. Regular readers, I do not endorse the sites she mentioned.
internet elias, thanks for visiting. Good word. I believe that the battle is the Lords, but I also believe in wearing His armor and being vigilant against those attacks. Like Nehemiah, rebuild with one hand, keep a sword in the other.
Tenacious, high compliment coming from you! I have seen those stats quoted like the NYT gospel, the only disclaimer has been in Christianity Today that I have read.
I agree…even as a divorced person, I am at times shocked with the ease of divorce, remarriage and the lack of deep consideration of the biblical ramifications such ease. Divorce is just a symptom of the problem we face in living as if the Book of Matthew doesn’t exist. No Beatitudes, no ‘but I say to you” no conflict resolution (18) and very little of 25.
Please… my friends call me B. ^_^
kinzi the 50% is the suggested national average but its widely contested and might sit closer to the mid 30′s.
Anyways you are probably talking about the barna report and how it mentioned that the evangelical christians didn’t differ from the national average of 33%
either way i find it interesting that they omitted the result for the athiests/agnostics since they ranked significantly lower in divorce rates than the rest of the population which was really interesting.
either way its 33% … and i wouldn’t go to a church for statistics since its not a representative sample and its highly selective which makes the statistic biased . hope that clears the misunderstanding
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Yah, liberals will make up whatever lies they can about religious people or conservatives. It deflects the attention from their OWN horrible divorce rate.
and liberals can’t be religious ? and what divorce rate and whats lies ? do you have anything to back up your BS or are you just another birther ?
@Marvin. Bambam asks some important questions. I wish to add a few more.
First, if you’re going to tie divorce rate to political beliefs, go find some evidence please?
Second, if you’re going to posit a vast left-wing conspiracy to smear “religious people and conservatives,” go find a LOT of evidence please?
Third, in your view, why do “liberals” even care about “their OWN horrible divorce rate” when they view divorce as morally acceptable? Why should they try to hide it?
Fourth, what is a “liberal” anyway, in your view? Are people who are in favor of one-payer healthcare or other social programs, greater environmental protection, or opposed to the patriot act on constitutional grounds, or in favor of ending the Iraq occupation soon (I am none of these things, by the way) somehow more likely to divorce than your “religious and conservative” people? Or are you one of those “a liberal is simply a sodomite or a fornicator” sort of folks? Where’s the correlation between politics and marital philosophy?
Fifth, I’m not sure where you stand spiritually, but if you care to, see 1st Corinthians 5:12.
Sixth and last, what do you hope to accomplish with a comment like yours? Is it a contribution to a robust and reasoned discussion of the issue of divorce either inside a specific group or outside it? It is not; it contains highly inflammatory accusations supported by no evidence whatsoever, and is therefore the kind of post more calculated to head us in the direction of Godwin’s Law than to allow us to discuss and exchange views reasonably. Do you, then, hope to persuade us to your views (which, by the way, based on a brief perusal of your blog, I think I share more often than not)? This sort of statement needs to be addressed to people who already agree with you in order to function as intended (provoking a response about “oh those !(@#*&ing liberals and their wickedness and evil”).
This is not my blog, so I can’t tell you either to get your act together or get gone. But I do wish to request, as a participant in this discussion and as a fellow conservative, that you attempt to present your views in a way that doesn’t 1) make people who think like you appear to be bigoted groupthinkers and 2) that contains some sort of credible evidence for any stereotyping claims you choose to make. Thank you
Marvin, Bam, Tenacious, I’m serving cyber tea then skipping out (as in chickening out!) to let you debate together.
Please be nice to each other, no name-calling, ok?? @@
Bam, I consider Marvin a cyber-bud and Tenacious is a real-time friend.
Tenacious and Marvin, I do consider Bam a real-time friend, so I won’t tell him to go away.
I know for sure B & T are great thinkers, sharp-knives-in-my-drawer. just be nice. Arjuuuuuuuuuuk
(Pleading)
I don’t think your church in CA is any “wilder” than most churches across the USA. Were you being serious?
Hi 3NBG! Long time no see. California is just a wilder place, it is much more body-conscious, more temptation with less clothing worn. Maybe wild wasn’t the best word, but my church has some people who are a little less serious about holiness, attracts new believers who haven’t learned the ropes yet, has many divorcees (like I was) attending, which also statistically have much higher divorce rates. And, sadly, more friends from there have divorced than from other churches I’ve attended.
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