Yea, yea, I am a Twilight fan, but would recommend it more for a 25+ gal than the teen audience it was geared for. There are real dangers for hormonally charged, emotionally immature ladies yet forming ideas about relationships.
This article, top-20-unfortunate-lessons-girls-learn-from-twilight, was both hilarious and a warning:
From a male point of view, the only redeeming feature of the Twilight books and movies is the ammunition they provide against female claims of innate moral superiority over men.
WHAT? Just so it is on record, I do NOT believe woman can make such a claim. Both genders have amazingly stupid, but different, bents toward immorality. Not limited to sexual immorality, either.
Whenever a woman criticizes a man’s lust, aggression, shallowness or any other lesser angel of his personality, the quick-witted fellow can point to the millions of women addicted to the base, insipid, bad-boy-worshiping, misogynist syrup so many female viewers of all ages knelt to this past weekend,
Ouch! On record again, I didn’t pay to see it, will probably wait until I can use Mona’s wasta at the DVD rental place. But yea, some of us are kinda living at the Twilight altar. What we think about happily and continually is what we worship.
In the spirit of speaking truth to diamond-skinned power, enjoy this list of unfortunate lessons girls learn from Twilight. (The list operates under the principle that any grownup female who embraces Twilight’s junior-high dreck temporarily sacrifices her “woman card.”)
‘Woman card’. Didn’t know I could play that one, is it like the ‘cancer card’? Something you pull out to pass go out of turn? Maybe that is for ladies who like to pretend that they don’t like or need men until they are in a bind and really do?
Which one struck you most? The ones that identified abusive behavior and encouraged stupid levels of sacrifice for lust. Self-sacrificing love is admirable, but I’m not sure things really became love for Eddie and Bella Babe until after the wedding and the obsession with cross-species sex was overcome.
One positive this whole vamp phenom reveals that there is a part of us that longs for the strong, protective, assertive love of a man. Something we have been trying to deny for a couple decades. A love that we can respond to, nurture, and stoke back in our own form of strength. That doesn’t make us weak, it brings us in line with reality, what both genders were made for. Equal in value, different in function.
One commenter made me laugh:
Pffft
Yeah, like I’m waiting for your follow-up. What Unfortunate Lessons Boys Learn from the Bond, Bourne, Die Hard, Spiderman, Bat Man, X-Men, Transformers etc. series. I guess won’t be holding my breath though.
Another commenter added some valuable additions:
A Silver
A couple of important ones I would add to the list:
21) True love is based, not on things like shared interests, hobbies, the ability to communicate well and enjoy such communication, mutual respect, etc, but on intense attraction.
22) Happiness in life can be achieved by making all decisions based on emotional impulses and ignoring all logical arguments against said decisions.
23) Your father’s input on romantic partners is worthless and you’ll only find your destiny by doing the opposite of what he suggests.
24) If a romantic partner treats you like a child and makes all the decisions in your relationship, even against your objections, it is because he loves you with all his heart.
Still thinking about that ‘woman card’ bit. :S
November 28, 2009 at 7:10 am |
I kinda like Roger Ebert’s take that “The Twilight Saga is an extended metaphor for teen chastity, in which the punishment for being deflowered I will leave to your imagination.”
November 28, 2009 at 8:44 am |
I’ll address the “woman-card” bit. The idea is that you carry a card that identifies you as such. I’ve used the masculine version of the line, as in “if you don’t quit singing along with ‘Hairspray’ I’m going to take your man-card away.”
I’ll say also that I agree with the guy you cite: Edward Cullen sparkles in sunlight, will never die, and regularly consumes fresh blood, and those are the MOST realistic things about him. Any young woman (and I’ve met a few) who are hoping to meet someone with his personality freed from fantastic trappings, are going to be disappointed that the way he behaves and thinks are no less fantastic than anything else about him.
Fantasy about werewolves is fine (though I’m more a fan of sword-and-sorcery types myself), but fantasy about me leaves me gravely concerned, and why I discouraged my sister from reading the books. (I myself have read all four).
She liked the movies though; less emotional goo, more hacking, slashing, bloodsucking pale-skinned CGI beauty.
Go Hollywood Go!
November 28, 2009 at 3:00 pm |
I was against reading the series myself and will not let my young daughters read it. We just watched the first movie the other night when it came on television to see what the hype was all about. I was ready with the clicker in case there was too much bad stuff. I was surprised to see that it wasn’t as bad as I had thought. Though I imagine that in the book, if it is written in the first person, we would hear a lot about what she is thinking about Edward and that I don’t think my innocent girls need to know. The movie wasn’t too bad, I think we have had to edit much worse in the past. But I agree it is better for the post 25 year crowd. Or married.
November 29, 2009 at 12:44 am |
I couldn’t help but think about the Oat Meal’s humorous stance on Twilight and its fans when reading this http://theoatmeal.com/story/twilight
I didn’t read the book so I can’t vouch for it one way or another, but there certainly is alot of buzz about it nowadays
November 30, 2009 at 6:28 am |
You are so funny.
December 3, 2009 at 8:04 am |
Chris, I missed that one…sortof like Akkad’s “Halloween” productions? Scary!
Tenacious, thanks for the glimpse into American cultural vocab I have missed over here. Hopefully, I won’t need a card to verify my gender. Good for your with your sis. I got into the series to see what perspective I could offer my nieces.
Um Omar, LOL, us mommies with our clickers! They also have pillows ready in case I am not fast enough. emotional innocence is as important as physical in many ways (although the two are really intertwined). Yes, married fodder indeed.
Za3tar, thanks for that~ there are quite a few parodies out there, which is like that male come-back to the fluff
Marvin, I’ll take that like positive funny, rather than crazy funny
December 18, 2009 at 1:10 am |
For the record, I’m not sure what Stephanie Meyer was thinking when she wrote breaking dawn. It’s good, just not Twilight or Stephanie Meyer good. Does anyone else agree with this Twilight Quiz