I mentor women. It is what God made me for. It is encouraging and challenging to see young women invite and respond to wisdom, take on board what works for them, and feel free to forget what doesn’t.
Some of the women are abuse victims, some are victims of other life-crushing experiences. Some are in great shape and just want to grow further. Some want motherhood advice, marital advice, spiritual advice, others want how-to-make-it-in-Amman advice. Others are in some pretty impossible positions and nothing I say will help.
For the last year, I have primarily mentored two young women. One is a blog reader 
. The other is not. She walked into my life last New Year’s, and sat down on the couch of my heart pretty much daily since then. To the exclusion of all others.
She was wounded, and it took some time to stop the hemorrhage. It was a life-threatening wound, and her methods of self-healing were hurting her further. She adopted me as a mom, which was something I was not comfortable with in light of all the unspoken expectations attached to the label. But she needed a mom, so I slipped into that role for a time.
It is hard to ‘mother’ someone who never experienced a positive mom-model. Lots of boundary-setting and explaining. I stayed in there, sometimes by will alone, fully engaged. Making love a noun and a choice.
I could go on and on. And on.
She currently says she ‘needs space’, and wants no contact. I’ve learned that means she is gonna do what she wants to do, no matter how foolish or destructive. I will probably get a call when she is at the end of her rope again.
In the last month, I’ve had four girls call me wanting mentoring. We scheduled appointments. They are hungry for change, aware of weak areas and confident of their real strengths. Today, I had my second meeting with one.
She had written down her action points.
She had acted on her action points. Very well.
She failed on one, but got up, dusted off, and learned from it.
She wants more.
I had almost forgotten what it was like, to work with someone who wants to work and has no excuses, and no drama. It’s really nice.
The title of the post translates to “You are hitting your hand on the water”, meaning slapping the water doesn’t do anything to move it, but hurts your hand. Well, I think I said it and write it right . That is what working with former girl is like.
I am giving her space, but using the time to invest in women who are ready. My heart hurts for her, but is receiving comfort and joy from the new young woman. Pray I will be the kind of women both need me to be. Lord, Your will be done.
That’s right… lead by example, tell people what they need to be doing, but if they can’t hear you, then it’s not your problem. You’re sailing on your way with or without them.
God needs you to heal those who will listen. Those who stray are in His hands, not yours.
Marvin, that is a hard but true saying. sometimes sailing away, leaving them in your wake, gives them the incentive to hoist their own sail and start moving.
Brian, wow, excellent words of advice. He is the Good Shepherd, the Healer.