Roba decodes the cheek-kissing protocol.

Shalabi decodes Arab Moms

Babs on Bins

Check out a newish blogger I am enjoying, Sum Of Mind.

The serious

Roba on taxation without representation. Since she is only half a citizen, why not pay half the taxes? Nermeen Murad adds a small glimmer of hope in the JT.

Nas on the pic-burning. For perspective: two years is longer than honor-murderers spent in prison until recently. That said, I think the kid is insane for doing such a thing and should benefit from that condition.

Maysaloon, man on the ground in Dimasq. Pray for Syria in these critical 48 hours to come.

A Montreal couple and their son were convicted Sunday of first-degree murder in the deaths of four family members in a case the judge called “despicable,” “heinous” and stemming from “a completely twisted concept of honour.”

Mohammad Shafia, his wife Tooba Yahya and their son Hamed, who had pleaded not guilty, were each handed an automatic life sentence with no chance of parole for 25 years. They were accused of killing Hamed’s three sisters and his father’s childless first wife in a polygamous marriage.

The bodies of Zainab, 19, Sahar, 17, and Geeti Shafia, 13, along with Rona Mohammad Amir, 50, were found in the family’s Nissan, submerged in a lock on the Rideau Canal on June 30, 2009.

“It is difficult to conceive of a more despicable, more heinous crime,” Justice Robert Maranger said.

“The apparent reason behind these cold-blooded, shameful murders was that the four completely innocent victims offended your completely twisted concept of honour … that has absolutely no place in any civilized society.”

(Lil Kinz and I say “I love you more” every night before we sing)

To my surprise, we have enjoyed flat upon flat of gorgeous red tomatoes, at a more August than February price these days. We have been making homemade spaghetti sauce to freeze by the kilo – a summer time activity, not dead-of-winter activity.

This raised a red flag, and I wondered who is not buying our tomatoes? Usually, our best stuff is exported.

When in doubt, ask a Dukanji I always say. Fa, today I asked our local Dukanj what was up, and he said “Iraq rejected our tomatoes, but Saudi is buying them, so grab them while you can”

Reason #216 to Love Jordan – the Dukanji Who Knows it All

We were still using a small TV we bought 16 years ago to watch DVDs (yup, and videos!), and the sound connection was getting dodgy. Sometimes we watched movies to the sound track with the subtitles. Awhile back, when the Bean family upgraded, they kindly ‘lent’ us their US TV and older xbox for the kids to play on. That one worked great until last month, when the blue and green colors stopped – imagine playing Call of Duty without blue and green. It is already a game with too much red for my taste (and no, we don’t let them play all levels)

So the begging began, but we had ‘used’ Christmas as an opportunity to upgrade the kid kitchen computer where they do all their homework-related work weekdays, and play games on the weekends. We told them to pray and see what God does. With the gifts that game in late, The Hub hit a great sale. God often works through attentive parents

The look on their faces is worth it all.

While the male kounouz were hauling in the groceries, they saw the box. They thought it was a box with something else in it, until Baba Kounouz* said “hey guys, I will need some help getting this set up’” They stopped in their tracks, silent. I said “What, no shouts of hallelujah?“.  Spikekid said “We are still in shock”. But, where words lacked, activity picked up and they had it connected in no time, with lots of excitement and hugs and wordy gratitude.

When they popped in Lord of the Rings to see if it worked, I was the one stopped in my tracks. THE SOUND. Oh, the sound! I was not going deaf (although I probably am) the sound of clear dialogue was amazing!!! And sharp, oh the colors were so sharp! And big, 32″ feels like a theatre screen.

Yay, Baba Kounouz

I’ve been restless on the inside
wondering about this heart of mine
I’ve been desperately trying to find
a way to prove that I’m still alive
Has the love I speak so loudly of
quietly grown cold

Is my life been an empty voice
what I sing needs to be seen
I need to step out and make the choice
to let go of everything

Would you reignite this heart spark here in the dark

Bring your love to life inside of me
Why don’t you break my heart ’til it moves my hands and feet

For the hopeless and the broken
for  the ones that don’t know that you love them
Bring your love to life inside of me

The generation you’re calling out
living everything we sing about
The revelation right here and now
love beyond the shadow of the doubt
Love that is greater than our own
won’t remain unknown

When you bring your love to life inside of me
Why don’t you break my heart ’til it moves my hands and feet

For the hopeless and the broken
for  the ones that don’t know that you love them
Bring your love to life inside of me

love to come life
love to come life
bring love to life inside me

love to come life
love to come life
bring love to life inside me

love to come life
love to come life
bring love to life inside me

love to come life
love to come life
bring love to life inside me

Bring your love to life inside of me
Why don’t you break my heart ’til it moves my hands and feet

Forthe hopeless and the broken
for  the ones that don’t know that you love them
Bring your love to life inside of me

Bring your love to life inside of me
Why don’t you break my heart ’til it moves my hands and feet

For the hopeless and the broken
for  the ones that don’t know that you love them
Bring your love to life inside of me

love to come life
love to come life
bring love to life inside me

love to come life
love to come life
bring love to life inside me

love to come life
love to come life
bring love to life inside me

love to come life
love to come life
bring love to life inside me

I finally finished, due to the kid-focus of Life After Christmas. And, I got stuck at 9 and 10

6 and 7 – two little Christmas stocking ornaments with his first and last name embroidered into them. Plus, using his names as acronym poems for the character qualities he exhibits daily in caring for us.

8 and 9 – two kinds of his favorite Christmas cookies, just for him. I promised not to eat them – which was the bigger part of the gift.

10 this is where I got stuck. Then settled with chocolate chip pecan cookies, something the kids won’t eat. And I must stay away from – such self-control.

11 candles from Bath and Body works (sale inspiration) for scented evenings. Yum.

12 months of a special calendar from Jordan.

There. Late, but he still knows he is loved.

Some of the women are abuse victims, some are victims of other life-crushing experiences. Some are in great shape and just want to grow further. Some want motherhood advice, marital advice, spiritual advice, others want how-to-make-it-in-Amman advice. Others are in some pretty impossible positions and nothing I say will help.

For the last year, I have primarily mentored two young women. One is a blog reader . The other is not. She walked into my life last New Year’s, and sat down on the couch of my heart pretty much daily since then. To the exclusion of all others.

She was wounded, and it took some time to stop the hemorrhage. It was a life-threatening wound, and her methods of self-healing were hurting her further. She adopted me as a mom, which was something I was not comfortable with in light of all the unspoken expectations attached to the label. But she needed a mom, so I slipped into that role for a time.

It is hard to ‘mother’ someone who never experienced a positive mom-model. Lots of boundary-setting and explaining. I stayed in there, sometimes by will alone, fully engaged. Making love a noun and a choice.

I could go on and on. And on.

She currently says she ‘needs space’, and wants no contact. I’ve learned that means she is gonna do what she wants to do, no matter how foolish or destructive. I will probably get a call when she is at the end of her rope again.

In the last month, I’ve had four girls call me wanting mentoring. We scheduled appointments. They are hungry for change, aware of weak areas and confident of their real strengths. Today, I had my second meeting with one.

She had written down her action points.

She had acted on her action points. Very well.

She failed on one, but got up, dusted off, and learned from it.

She wants more.

I had almost forgotten what it was like, to work with someone who wants to work and has no excuses, and no drama. It’s really nice.

The title of the post translates to “You are hitting your hand on the water”, meaning slapping the water doesn’t do anything to move it, but hurts your hand. Well, I think I said it and write it right .  That is what working with former girl is like.

I am giving her space, but using the time to invest in women who are ready. My heart hurts for her, but is receiving comfort and joy from the new young woman. Pray I will be the kind of women both need me to be. Lord, Your will be done.

A London group hopes lessons learned from a project aimed at Chicago street gangs can be applied to curb family violence.

The Family Honour Project was unveiled Tuesday by the Muslim Resource Centre for Social Support and Integration as part of its mission to eradicate domestic violence.

“We know this will be viewed as somewhat controversial in our community,” said Saleha Khan, a board member for the resource centre.

The project will target “honour­-related violence” in city families.

But she said she hopes the entire London community will benefit from identifying violence before it erupts in domestic situations.

The model for the unique venture is the CeaseFire Project, which has been working with street gangs for 11 years to prevent violence before it occurs.

CeaseFire advisor Norman Kerr agreed that while a partnership would seem strange between a group working with street gangs and Muslim families, the issues of honour and disrespect are common triggers for violent behaviour.

“We have had significant success with CeaseFire,” he said, noting it has spread to 25 other communities in Illinois and 10 elsewhere in the United States.

CeaseFire keeps a close eye on the streets and tries to identify problems before they lead to violence and gunfire.

“We know about conflicts before they happen,” he said. Kerr noted many gang members grew up in violent households and the key is to find them new role models and help them to beyond their pasts.

Kerr said no community can afford to say “it’s none of our business” when it comes to family violence.

In London, Khan said she’s optimistic the new venture will prevent trouble before it happens.

“There is nothing honourable about family violence,” she said.

Mohammed Baobaid, executive director of the Muslim Resource Centre, said among new Canadians and those struggling with cultural differences “we have seen some indications of ‘honour’. That is used to justify their violence.”

He said it’s important for all families to come forward and “talk about our problems.”

Mayor Joe Fontana saluted the “absolutely fantastic” partnering plan on social issues between London and Chicago.

“We accept violence in no shape or form,” he said.

He was echoed by Police Chief Brad Duncan, who welcomed the opportunity to be proactive and work with partners to identify the warning signs of potential violence.